laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize