I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
