Jerry, you need to find god
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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