All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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