I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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