Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
