I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
