I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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