Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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