Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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