I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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