Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
