And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
