New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
