Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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