then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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