ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
