playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize