When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
