In the future we'll all be gay
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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