never play flip cup with pint glasses
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
