This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
