hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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