no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize