Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Randomize
