i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
