yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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