Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
