I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
