so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
