Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
