Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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