Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
