remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
