ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
