the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
