i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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