In the future we'll all be gay
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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