areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
