Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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