Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
