We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
