Define "chronic" masturbator.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
