dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
