Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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