Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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