On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
