you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
