I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
