i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
