Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
