You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
