This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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