Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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