Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
