how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
