Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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