U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
