Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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