I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she looked like the before picture.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize