I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
