if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
