I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
