We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize