dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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