I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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