yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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