Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize