Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
