Rock
Scissors
Fuck
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
