i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize