dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize