this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
