Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
