Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
